28 September 2007

You Really Want to Read About Me

Part One: Things That Have Made My Days This Past Month

1. I was riding my special bus one day (the bus that takes me from the parking lot to the front of my school), and it was completely crowded. Luckily, I got a seat and as I sat there I was quite entertained by all the cheap people who don’t want to pay for a parking permit and choose take the bus instead (I’m one of them). I watched as this cute black guy fully got down—dancing, singing and all—to the music playing on his I-pod. This made my day because for one, I never see black people in Utah, and when I do, it makes me really excited. Secondly, he made me laugh. But the thing that made me most happy was the reaction to the girl sitting across from me: She was completely disgusted with this guy. She kept looking at him and shaking her head. Then she would look away, and look back at him, and do the same thing all over. She looked to me like she was one of those very sheltered, Molly-Mormonish girls. I wanted to say, “What, you’ve never seen a black guy before?!?”

2. On Wednesday night in class, I noticed that the guy sitting across from me was taking notes in a notebook fitting this description: barnyard, wheel, fluffy kitten, fluffy kitten poking head out of wheel. This made me happy because the guy was probably 25, and because I secretly love cats. Sometimes people will talk about how they hate cats, and how they think they are gross, and I’ll say, “Oh yeah, I know, they’re so annoying and gross.” But really, I like them. In fact, I have been rescuing little kitties for the past year (kitties and every other animal I find). Last December, I rescued a little kitty who I named Bell, and just recently, I rescued Sandy. I was especially attached to Sandy. She lived with us for about a month but then I found her a home. She was getting on my nerves, so I was really happy to give her away. Then when it came time for my husband and I to take her to her new family, I lost all control. As I handed her over to the dad, I started balling—hyperventilating is probably a better word. Mac and I were going to go on a date after that, but I had to go home first to wash my face, redo my makeup and change my shirt because I had black all over. Now, Mac takes me to the pet store to look at the kitties in the window instead. I have also rescued 4 dogs this year, too. Let me clarify what I mean by rescue. Whenever I see an animal walking in the street, I automatically assume that it doesn’t have a home, and I take it home with me. We went to Yellow Stone over the summer and Mac was worried because I might say, “Oh, poor buffalo, we need to rescue him.”

3. Mac and I were driving home from California and we stopped in Las Vegas and ate at the Palms on the way home. As I was walking out of the Playboy store (yes, I’m a skank), I ran into Lo from Laguna Beach/The Hills. (Not that I have ever watched those shows). We ran into each other because she was opening a pack of cigarettes (gross) and wasn’t looking up. And me dumb girl, can’t walk in straight lines.
Her: Sorry
Me: That’s ok
Me: Oh my gosh, Lo!

I was really mad that I didn't have my camera with me, I left it in my car. But this picture is of them on the day that I saw them.
This Blog has two parts:They (Her, Lauren and Audrina) were in Las Vegas for there friend’s birthday party at Ceaser’s Palace). That episode of the Hills actually airs on Monday (Again, not that I have ever watched that show…I don’t know why I know that :))


4. My bus driver is about 80 years old, and he sings to the radio every morning. The funny part is that he thinks he knows the words, but he really doesn’t. Sounds just come out of his mouth.

5. I enforced the law. We live across the street from Mexico (and next door to, for that matter), and I promise there is about 6 families living in one house. (I’m really not racist against Mexicans—I dated one). Anyway, they really don’t know how to park. For weeks now, they have been parking as many ghetto cars as they can in front of their house. When they run out of room, what do they do? Of course—they make a parking lot of the street and park cars side by side—taking up half of the road. They live on a corner house, and I have almost hit their cars three times as I come around the corner. I was sick of it so I decided to show them—I left a mean note on their car, and this is what it said:
“It is a violation to park your cars like this. I have almost hit your car three times. I have issued a complaint and I will have your cars towed the next time this happens.” I was pretty much lying when I said that I had reported them, but it worked because the next morning, they had moved the car. I made my husband come with me to put the note on the car, and he was so embarrassed. A garage door opened from the neighbors across the street, and he ran home as I yelled, “Sissy!”

6. We were eating at Macaroni Grill last weekend, and I was wearing a pretty low cut shirt. I had no clean undershirts, so I just wore the shirt anyway. Ok, my boobs were pretty much hanging out but there was nothing I could do about it. I regretted wearing the shirt because I had to keep pulling it up. What made me laugh was the reaction of the lady who was sitting in front of us. She kept giving me dirty looks as if I was being so inappropriate. At that point, I stopped pulling my shirt up. This way she could keep thinking I was a skank because I have boobs, I don’t know why I get so much joy out of making people uncomfortable.

7. My teacher told me this story the other day. He was watching some dumb girl talk on her cell phone as she was driving, and her window was down. She accidentally dropped her phone out the window as she was talking. A few cars drove by, missing the phone, then finally...one ran over it.

8. Last night on my way home from school, my husband and I saw a cross dresser walking down State Street in Orem, by our house. Just so you can visualize this, let me describe: high heels, flaired jeans, white feathery bolero top, walking a Chihuahua. I about peed my pants. I made my husband turn back around, so we could drive by him again so that I could take a picture of him with my phone. I think he saw the flash, but I figure that's what he wants. It was pretty late, so my husband thinks he was working the streets.

I have no clue why some of these things made my day. I guess I am a pretty twisted individual.

Part Two ("...of My Confessions"):

Since I never post anything that really gives any insight into our lives, here are my responses to questions asked in an email from my cute friend, Kemra.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My mom new someone named Kelly, and she really liked her, and so she named me Kelly.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I cry a lot, it's hard to remember (I'm a baby/wimp). I think I cried last week because I was stressed with work and some other things.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to. But that was when I tried to make it look nice. Now I just don't care and I write with twirlies at the end of words to connect them because it makes me feel like I am writing faster (kind of sloppy cursive looking) but it ends up looking like scribbles. So, no, I don't really like my handwriting.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Turkey, but only real turkey like you can get on your sandwiches at Kneaders. I don't like the fake/slimy/processed turkey that tastes bad. I'm a little high maintenance when it comes my turkey. I equally like chicken.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Heck NO! Sometimes I really want a little baby, but then I remember that some kids I know drive me crazy and I never want kids. Then I remember back on when we were in the nursery for a whole year and I remember that I hated it and that I don't like other people's kids (I'm going to hell). I graduate soon, so after that, maybe we'll start to think about that. I will probably have a new attitude by that time too. I just can't imagine having a mini me and going to school at the same time. Yikes!

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Yes, I would. Who wouldn't be? (I'm kind of kidding). I would be my friends because I would feel bad for me because I have no friends, and I would say, "Oh, poor girl, I'll be her friend." But really, I would be friends with myself, but I would get on my nerves a lot.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
I used to. Now the people I am around are all new friends/co-workers, and none of them understand when I am joking or think I am funny. So I just don't anymore, unless I am around my only friend in Utah--Donelle. But we hardly ever see each other. (Donelle, where are you. And how come you never came over two weeks ago?).

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I used to want to after I watched the completely lame movie which I loved, Chasing Liberty, but since I have been married I have become a sissy when it comes to anything dangerous. So no, probably not. Unless I was dared to do it (I can't back out of dares) or if I was going to get a lot of money for doing it.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cinnamon Life

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, but I only have one pair of shoes that need to be tied, and those are my running shoes. Do I look like I use those?

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
No, I have 0 muscle mass. I know this because one time Holly and I went to the gym to use a free pass that my dad gave us, and the stupid man wouldn't let us work out (ha, like I work out, and we didn’t even want to work out, we just wanted to go into that Jacuzzi--which as I remember, they didn't even have--lame) until we completed a body composition profile. He basically told me that I had no muscle mass, my bone mass was really bad, and that my percentage body fat was way too high. Then he rolled his eyes at Holly when she started singing to the music playing overhead as he was lecturing us. (Oh Holly, do you remember that? I almost pee my pants every time I think of that). But just like Kemra, I do have a high tolerance for pain.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Cookie Minster from Cold Stone Creamery, with extra fudge. Mmm. I also like all of the moose tracks varieties that involve chocolate. Also, Blue Bunny's version of mint chocolate chip is good.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they are genuinely nice, or if they seem fake. I also notice if they are a good listener and if they actually care about what you are saying. As for physical attributes, I don't really notice much anymore. I like pretty eyes, though. And when I see a girl with pretty hair, I notice that.

15. RED OR PINK?
Pink--depending on what the color is for. Usually I would prefer pink in everything. Although, pink and red are both horrible colors on me.

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I am very hard on myself and I always assume that people don't like me. But if we are talking physical, I think anyone who knows me a little bit would know what that would be (hint--see number 6 in part one of this blog).

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Everyone in Arizona--my favorite people from my Ahwatukee ward, Kelly, Kemra, Rachel, Lindsey Halverson, Holly, Donelle (because I never see her even though we live close), my mom, the little kitty (that I named Sandy) that I rescued a few weeks ago because she didn't have a home, and then I found her one. I miss all of the girls that I used to be friends with other than the ones I named. Those are some, just to name a few. I guess that doesn't really point to one that I miss the most. Right now I miss my husband the most because he is at school.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Yes, if you want, it would make me happy and it would be fun.

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
A reeces peanut butter cup that I won in class today.

19. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Jeans, black shirt, black hoodie.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The guys at my work are watching a lame golf tournament on T.V.

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Pink--but from the glitter crayons pack.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Cookies, White tea like scents, my husband's cologne (Chrome), baby lotion, the rain in Arizona, I Love Love (my favorite perfume), and I was in the mall on Saturday and I went to Gap and they have all these new scents that are yummy--my favorite was Lavender Tea.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My husband.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Love her! She's probably my favorite!

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
The only sport I will watch is the Phoenix Suns playing basketball, or an NBA playoff game. The only exception is if I am attending a Diamond Back's game. Those are kind of fun, especially when I went with Kell, remember? Everything else is a complete bore to me.

27. HAIR COLOR?
A hideous shade of brown, with gold in it. I have died my hair dark, dark brown three times in the past year and my true ugliness keeps coming back.

28. EYE COLOR?
Blue with an obnoxious yellow circle around my pupil.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Mexican food: chimichangas. Thai food: Mussuman Curry, any satayed meats, Pad Woosain, and other dishes with oyster juice (I know, it sounds gross, that's what I thought because I hate sea food, but it is quite tasty). Chocolate, which I consider a food because I eat so much of it. Sandwiches, Pizza—but not just any pizza—quality pizza, such as California Pizza Kitchen's varieties. I am addicted to that place right now. My favorite is the mango Chicken Tendoroni Pizza. The only non-high-quality pizza I like is the BBQ chicken pizza from Papa John's. I hate all Dominoes, Pizza Hut, etc. I also like really good salads--no iceberg lettuce. Spinach dip is one of my favorites also. I am pretty much a pig and I love everything.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings-- I hate scary movies!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Nancy Drew--I dragged my husband to 50 cent night at the dollar theater last week and made him watch it!

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
It used to be winter, but then I moved to Utah. Now it is summer. But when I move back to AZ, it will be winter. AZ's winters are the best. But, although it is not an option, I really like spring and fall in Utah.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Where do I begin? I like Applebee's blondies, Cookie Mister from Coldstone Creamery, and pretty much anything with chocolate. Oh, Macaroni Grill has some good ones too. And also Cheesecake Factory.

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Probably no one.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Probably everyone.

39. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING NOW?
My school books.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Nothing--it's plain black with a squishy for my wrist.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Kimora Lee Simmons: Life in the Fab Lane (I'm a loser).

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
I like the sound of rain and thunder storms, I also like silence when I'm sleeping with the sound of a fan or AC unit in the background.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Hawaii- Kauai

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
None, unless you count that I can speak backwards and pop out my hip.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Mesa, AZ.

12 comments:

Cam and Mele said...

ok that was a long post and i will need to finish reading it later, but of course I mangaged to read about running into LO!! Not that I like her, but literally running into any famous person is rad! haha and that cracks me up that you hate Utah, thank you for being honest. But, I wouldn't mind getting out of AZ...lets switch for a sec. Oh and we don't have a website yet, we're just seeing how well it takes off first, but we're hoping to get one, we just both suck at business and computers.

kemra said...

OK, I have to tell you that this posting made my day! I was laughing so hard - you crack me up! I love that you like to make people feel uncomfortable - esp. when they are being jerks! One time I had an instructor chewing me out (for NO reason - I'm not just saying that either. It was totally unjustified) and I had really bad gas that day. So, I didn't try to hold it in - and I knew she could smell it - but I didn't care. I wanted her to smell it! I know I'm gross, usually I don't do that sort of thing! But I was really cranky!

I forgot how much you loved animals -don't hate me for not OK. You are cute.

Are you coming to Mesa anytime soon? For Christmas or Thanksgiving? If you are, I want to hang out with you - you always make me laugh and I miss you! OK, this posting is way to long. I will go before you want to shoot me! Bye!

Alisse T said...

LOL to this whole post... Especially the note on the Mexicans car, you calling Mac a Sissy, rescuing animals, and popping our your hip!

The Fletchies said...

I also enjoyed you calling Mac a sissy. I totally pictured it and hoped that your neighbors saw him running away out the window. I love your post. It was fun reading about you. It really was my favorite post I read today and I haven't blogged forever so I'm going through them all today so be impressed with your mad blogging skills. The end.

heather said...

yes, thank you! i loved reading the post, although it took eight years...
i love the part where you call your husband a sissy as you stuck a note on the car across the street. is he from mesa?
i also loved the fact that you are a secret cat lover. mostly because right after i read your confession i read kemra's office quote about cats and something about that was funny to me.
and about the pink and red...i just remembered those hot red bridesmaid dresses...

kemra said...

I have to respond to heather's comment. Yes, my bridesmaid dresses were red - but they were pretty, and I think they looked good on everybody - even heather, the red head! I have no defense for my hatred of cats, I got it from my father - that and my anal packing!

kemra said...

OK, so I have to tell you this. Someone saw your comment on my blog, and thought that we were really twins! I love it! I almost told her that we were twins, and "how could you not know that i had a twin" but then I decided against it. Now I'm kinda wishing that I had played it up!

heather said...

love the picture of you and your hubby! you really do look like kemra, you are both just gorgeous!!

Alisse T said...

Did you have a good birthday?! :)

Tanny said...

hahaha kelly you are so funny! I love it.

Karisa & Tyler said...

Hey Kelly! I just wanted to say hi and see how things are going for ya! It's fun to come across a blog of a friend or someone you know! I hope all is going well for you and I hope you don't mind if I put your link on my page so we can keep in touch better! :)
-Karisa Tomkinson (Crawford)

Chase & Tricia said...

I'm responding to this about your last post- thank you for posting the Miss USA question. I had heard about it, but didn't see it myself. Wow!

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